Tarrah Writes Stuff

We should all be so lucky.

We should all be so lucky to have a friend like Michelle Williams is to Busy Phillips. Or like Busy is to Michelle.

Much has been made, said, reported about their friendship over the years. Since they started bringing each other to events.

It was one of the most interesting highlights of my first Oscar® season, it was the 78th Oscars® — Brokeback Mountain — and coming down the red carpet towards me were Jen Lindley and Audrey Liddel. My love for Dawson’s Creek does not end, and I’m not afraid to own that. All those Oscar Nominees, movie stars, celebs, you name it, and my head was spinning over 90s teen drama stars.

Then Busy approached me.

My heart stopped, I really hoped my bubble wasn’t about to burst when Busy told me she needed a favor.

Worst-case-scenario Tarrah kicked in (She’s really the worst.) and began processing the myriad ways I was about to be disappointed. All the illusions that would dissolve around me in the middle of what should have been my proudest day too. (I’d left Boston telling everyone I was going to plan the Oscars. They smiled, laughed, and wished me luck. But I was there, standing on the red carpet.)

I tried to avoid eye contact, but it was too late. My walkie. My clipboard. My repurposed bridesmaid dress. Something made me look official and, apparently, helpful. (Same thing happens when I go to Target. I don’t get it.)

In a second, Busy was whisper-yelling in my ear. I made her repeat it because I honestly couldn’t understand how that was the favor she needed. Especially given where we were standing.

For her friend.

This was easily the biggest day of Michelle’s career to date. And that, without exception, without jealousy, with nothing but genuine love and respect, was why Busy was there.

My appreciation for those two women blossomed that day and has only continued to grow. Female friendships like theirs are rare—rarer than they should be.

The way these two seemingly opposite women treat each other is how we all should treat each other.

I read every interview where either of them talks about their friendship. I love talking to people about it because it defies all the stereotypes of Hollywood, and women.

A couple of days ago, Busy posted a picture of herself on the toilet on Instagram. Naturally, I paused to read the caption, unprepared for what I found.

🌟My forever moods-for today anyway… 🌟Michelle said this great, really lovely and helpful thing to me tonight on the phone, she (more or less, I obviously wasn’t RECORDING the call😂) said, “You know Busy, all you have ever been as long as I’ve known you is exactly yourself- it’s why I loved you immediately. And for some people, it’s why they love you at first too but then it just ends up shining a light on their own inability to BE their true selves- or they start to think that they’re less than because of how much you are. And it makes them feel bad and they then think they have to BE MORE or they start to wish you were LESS. But they won’t be. And you can’t be. Because you’re just you. You’re not trying; you just are. And honey, that’s on them, not you. So. Fuck ‘em. Truly. Fuck. Them.” And anyway, it made me feel a lot better and I’m putting it here so I can remember it for myself and in case maybe you need to hear that and also so I’ll know what to say to my daughters one day when they need to hear it. Also, best friends always know what to say, when to whisk you out the back door of a place, when to cry with you and always ALWAYS when to take a picture of you glamorously peeing in their bathroom.

It was a love letter. An appreciation of individuality. A celebration of being seen—truly seen. Michelle’s words that Busy shared were a perfect illustration of seeing someone as they are and loving them in all the ways.

This morning, following Michelle’s fifth Oscar nomination, Busy posted another one.

BRB- I’m just gonna go back in time and tell this kid that she’s going to have 5 OSCAR NOMINATIONS in the next 20 years. 😭 And a BEAUTIFUL family. And be surrounded by love. (And GORGEOUS CLOTHES) But tbh- that’s probably along the lines of what I was saying to her then. I love you MW. Proud of you forever for building the life and career you dreamed of, even though the absolute overwhelming grief of being human had you wondering if you could at times. But then you would dig deep and try again. It’s one of my favorite things about you. You have never NEVER stopped trying. A new way, a new recipe, a new parenting style, a new author, a new approach to work, a new love, a new role…but always the same loving brilliant gentle sensitive funny wild thoughtful beautiful beautiful BEAUTIFUL you. ❤️🌟

We should all be so lucky to have friends—a friend—that loves us like that.

I know I do. I hope you all do.

And I think that’s why I love Busy and Michelle so much, they remind me of the women in my life who see my weird and still stand next to me. The women who continue to inspire me, join in on the shenanigans (sometimes we even get paid for them), and who are laughing along with me when I take a wrong turn. It’s a mutual admiration society. I love you all more than I love Dawson’s Creek! And you all know how truly deep that is.

❤

Positive Vibes Only… an unpopular take.

Positive Vibes Only — A sexy beast of a motto. Enticing. Seductive. Welcoming.

And totally unrealistic.

It makes nice wall art, but it’s corrosive to our hearts and souls. IMHO.

It’s entirely unattainable.

There has been a trend lately in corporate takeovers where the new Powers That Be (PTB), all dew-faced and open, promise Positive Vibes Only (a.k.a Solution Based Thinking; Proactive Creative Processes).

Sure, it’s a great motivator, for like five minutes. Reality eventually creeps back in, and it morphs into Positivity Theater. There’s nothing on the other side of that door except holey sandbags and a flickering ghost light.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to have a Positive Attitude. Absolutely. Keep an open mind and go in emanating Good Vibes. It’s the ONLY I object to.

When you hit a stumbling block, a limitation, or a gut check (natural, man-made, or anxiety-driven), you deserve to feel and acknowledge those moments too.

All the positivity in the world will never be able to make up for the fact that you are human. That physics and logistics are real. And, that time travel (as of yet) is not.

Until time travel becomes available to the masses, you will have limitations. (And, no, we aren’t going to discuss the myriad problems that time travel for the masses would bring. At least not today.)

Limitations are not inherently negative. Or positive, for that matter.
They are.
They exist.
Period.

The best way to tackle limitations is to acknowledge them. If you accept their existence, you can solve for them, work with them, and create despite them.

(And, spoiler alert, some limitations can change. Some can’t. But if you never acknowledge them, how will you know?)

No. Can’t. Won’t. Don’t.

No one likes hearing these words. Some people actively hate these words. 100%, including me. (I’m working on it.)

In my experience, the humans who hate them the most fall into one of two categories:

They didn’t hear them enough as children; or
They heard them too much as children.

In the first case, they need to hear them more now. They need to hear them until they acknowledge them with the same ease of acceptance as they do the latest weight loss craze.

In the second case, they need to be reminded that those are just words and don’t imply negativity, failure, or insurrection. They don’t determine worth. Most importantly, they don’t mean an awesome outcome doesn’t exist.

NO:
“No.” Is a complete sentence. It can mean you’re standing up for yourself and setting a positive boundary about what you are willing/able to do. It should always be respected. It can (probably should) always be followed up with what is NEEDED to change the outcome.

CAN’T:
I am positive I can’t drive an SUV through a concrete wall without negative repercussions. Extreme, sure, but 100% accurate. You can’t make more hours in the day. Or burn the candle at both ends without it taking a measurably negative toll on your health and mental state (and probably making your work product trash.) You can’t be in two places at once. Choices are real and need to be made.

WON’T:
Unwillingness is not a sign of insurgence. It’s a positive example of someone making a choice and standing by it. Whether theoretical or moral or a different idea, it’s a positive confirmation that someone has considered options and come to a conclusion. These people are leaders. Why don’t they want to do it? I wonder.

DON’T:
DO NOT should always receive a follow-up.
“I do not want to do this.” — “Why are you uncomfortable with this request?
“I do not understand.” — “Where are you hung up?”
“I do not feel [insert feeling word] about this.” — “What would make you feel differently?”

If you were reading a book or watching a show, this is the moment heroes and villains are made. It’s the drama.

Why assume that moment works differently in real life? That depiction, almost definitely, positively came from real life.

Positive vibes are outstanding when they happen. We should cherish them, embrace them, and release them. We shouldn’t hoard them. We shouldn’t demand them.

Real vibes happen — They aren’t all positive. And we should see them, hear them, feel them and release them.

We will never learn if we pretend that real vibes don’t exist. We will never know how to get over them, dig under them, or take the long way around them if we pretend they aren’t real. But if we do, we learn how to build stairs, carve tunnels, or take steps. Each one of those is a positive victory we can celebrate.

We should be focused on FEELING THE VIBES, then maybe we’ll create some MAGIC from them.

2023… Looking Ahead

I haven’t a clue what 2023 is going to look like. But if it’s anything like 2022 it’s bound to be filled with some unexpected surprises.

I’m here for them.

Things on my Adventures List for 2023
* Roller skating — Thanks to Pink I literally can’t stop thinking about it. Will most likely land on my ass and laugh like hell about it!
* Paint Ball — This one has been on the list for a while, but life. So, if you are interested, let’s go.
* Axe Throwing League — Because why not?
* Go on Tour — I’m just gonna keep putting this one out there until it happens, but I want to work on a rock tour for the summer. 1. I would be exceptional at the logistics, and I have the industry creds to back it up. 2. I think I might have been a roadie in another life. #roadieforthesummer

Goals for 2023
* Drink the Good Wine — What exactly are these special occasions I’m saving those bottles for? Good friends and good conversation are all I really need.
* Say “YES” more –The introvert in me just lost her damn mind. More. I’m not quantifying or qualifying this any further.
* More Concerts — More live music in general. I did pretty well in 2022, but we can do better.
* Write More — I always want to write more, it’s not like I’m slacking, but if I could clone myself, I’d send the clone out to work. I’d spend all that extra time writing.
* Land a Literary Agent — Yup, this is happening this year. #manifesting
* Books will be read — I’m going to make some progress on cleaning out my Kindle but realistically speaking, there are 220 books in my Kindle Library and I read 150 books (according to the Goodreads challenge) this year. So, I would like for there to be less than 220 books in my library at the end of 2023.
* Still NOT buying any more office supplies — We’ve used a bunch, but I could still keep a small office afloat.

2022: Falling in love with my bookshelf (again!)

2022 is about to end, and I’m closing in on 150 books, according to Goodreads (There are some duplicates I can’t seem to shake). It might happen, it might not. My reading rode some waves for sure this year… and I could handle more surfing books. More stories set in New Orleans. More falling in love and not sacrificing yourself. More meeting people where they are at novels. More friendship stories. More Dave Grohl reading to me. More recommendations from friends.

I should explain my Goodreads Ratings are all about MY enjoyment level. I’m not a book critic, I’m a book lover and an avid reader, and this is my gut response the instant I finish a book.

***** 5 Stars – For whatever reason, I got something more than I was expecting. I loved it. I hated the characters. I wanted to throw the book across the room. I wanted to read it again.
**** 4 Stars – This book was exactly what I expected—be it thriller, romance, or sinfully smutty. I was along for the ride and got my money’s worth.
*** 3 Stars – Sometimes I just wasn’t digging it, and that’s cool. Other times, I was enjoying a book, but there was something – typos, questionable word choice, etc. that jarred me out of the story.
** 2 Stars – I don’t think I’ve given any of these…

The books below are the ones that stuck with me in 2022 amidst nearly 150 other stories.

Seven Days in June – Tia Williams @tiawilliamswrites
This one just sucks you in and plucks at every emotional chord. Second chances. Secret letters. A past that can’t be forgotten.

You Can’t Be Serious — Kal Penn @kalpenn
As if I needed another reason to love Kal Penn. This memoir had me in stitches more often than not. I maintain the man is an underrated genius.

Star Fish – Lisa Flips @authorlisafipps
This was my first novel in verse. I’m honestly still pissed off at Ellie’s mother. Heartwarming, frustrating and ultimately a celebration of self and friendship.

Kiss Number 8 – Colleen A.F. Venable (Author), Ellen T. Crenshaw (Illustrator) @colleenaf @etcillustration
My first graphic novel. I honestly just loved it. Growing up is all about testing boundaries and figuring out all the ways you are you and this story hits the mark.

An Unexpected Kind of Love – Hayden Stone @haydenstoneauthor
Since I have the unpopular stance of not liking Notting Hill, I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed this spin on the movie star and the bookshop owner.

Book Lovers – Emily Henry @emilyhenrywrites
Same review as last year, different book! Emily Henry get out of my head! She’s got my number, and she keeps calling. It freaks me out how eerily matched her books are to my life at the moment I pick them up. I just want all the more from her.

If This Gets Out – Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich @sgonzalesauthor @calerdietrich
To be honest, I was in at Boy Band. The secret romance, the crazy fans, and evolving friendships were a bonus. Sometimes you just need to dip into someone else’s world and enjoy the tour.

Icebreaker – A.L. Graziadei @a.l.graziadei
I can still smell the hockey bags. I love unexpected tension boiling up inside already tense situations. It’s no wonder it’s gloves off.

The Surprising Power of a Good Dumpling – Wai Chim @onewpc
Sometimes you pick up a book based only on the title, and it’s so much more than you expected. Family is awesome and brutal. Growing up is hard but also an adventure. See people for who they are and ask to be seen in return.

Funny You Should Ask – Elissa Sussman @elissa_sussman
I’m so glad this was more than just a wide-eyed reporter falls in love with a hunky actor story. More importantly, I love the genuine friendship between the “rivals.” More male friendships like this, please.

And we have to talk about Meghan Quinn. @meghanquinnbooks

You can’t NOT notice how frequently she’s on my list. I’m equal parts; how the f*** do you write so many damn books, and could you please write like ten more a year I’m starting to have to ration. In my 40s, this genre—what I fondly refer to as Housewife Porn—holds more appeal. It’s a little snack break from the real world, and Meghan Quinn’s my favorite chef.

It’s time we talk about Orville Peck. Pull up a chair.

This is now the [insert outrageous number]th time I’ve attempted to write a blog post about Orville Peck. Let’s hope this one isn’t a 10,000 word opus. (However, if you are interested in reading that, DM me. Only kind of kidding.)

We’ll start with the housekeeping:
* Am now an OP Evangelist – Jobs I took in 2022 that I didn’t plan on.
* I fell into the rabbit hole… I live here now. It’s weird. I like it.
* Don’t tell me you like all music, but not country. Just give OP a listen. We’ll talk about that voice, and the range, and the insane list of obvious influences. Then tell me you like music again.
* Be glad you aren’t my neighbors. Those peeps have been listening to not just Bronco, but the entire catalog since April. On loop. Several hours a day. And my door is always open.

And now for the Thank Yous:
** Huck thank you for adjusting your Coachella schedule to check OP out on my behalf. Even bigger thank you for sending me the video that convinced me drive to San Diego after a delayed red-eye to see him in my new favorite music venue, Humphrey’s.

**Pawntra, you find your way onto this blog for some hilarious reasons and I live for it. Thank you for being my ‘live music of any variety at anytime’ buddy, for being patient when I told you we could chill in the picnic tables at Palomino Festival and then low-key freaked out and needed to be like 7 feet away, and for taking that sneaky-ass video of me having the best day ever! Also, for being total Event People with me and discussing everything that was done well and otherwise at the inaugural festival. And for introducing me to jalapeños in rosé!

Palomino Fest at the Rose Bowl, Pasadena, CA (July 9, 2022)

**Malty, thank you for entertaining (and hosting) a late-night Stagecoach Livestream that included more laughs and nipples than I’m certain either of us would have guessed. Vudoo I’m sorry that you missed likely the only Sunday Night Dinner that’s ever going to include “your music.”

Where was I going with this?

Right, right, right. This is my… “It seems ridiculous that I haven’t done an OP blog post yet, so these are my favorite songs off Bronco” post.

Favorite is kind of a silly word… on any given day any song could be my “favorite.”

“Hexie Mountains”
Maybe you’d learn to live with what’s inside your head.

We’ll just pretend that I really dig the bluegrass and skip over the feelings part cause I’m the poster human for Virgos. So, yeah, favorite.

“Trample Out the Days”
This song absolutely destroys me. Wrecks me. Dead. And listening to it on loop (I did spare the neighbors here and used headphones!) I wrote one of my favorite scenes that I’ve written. So thanks… and also FU dude!

“City of Gold”
All that I want is a kind heart to haunt

My only connection to Johannesburg is having been trapped in Heathrow during an airline strike with a bunch of private school kids. They were delightful. All I Can Say–don’t be surprised if there’s a tattoo in the near future. (Also, yes, I know what I did there. It’s not even the lamest thing I’ve done today.)

I don’t know if this post makes any more sense than the others I wrote but if you need to talk to someone about Orville Peck, I’m here.

And for the love of art — go to a show. It’s some of the finest musical theater I’ve seen. (Also, shoutout to the queen Bria Salmena! Massive #girlcrush)

And, with that, I end with some @tlcurtis #srirachaart.
Because when your whole wheat lavash bread sriracha swirl looks like a cowboy hat, you just have to lean in!

No snacks were wasted in the making of this image.

Sounds weird. I’m in!

In my personal opinion… friends with weird ideas are the best friends to have.

Actual conversations with my weirdos:

Me: “I don’t know he’s really not into gorilla suits and I just don’t get it?”
Friendly Weirdo: “Who doesn’t love gorilla suits?”
Me: “Right?”

A brief contemplative silence.

FW: “Oh, you know what we should do, gorilla suit pub crawl.”
Me: “Hell yes!
FW: “This summer, texting [Friendly Weirdo #2] now.”

FTR: They already exist…

As do… you guessed it…

Banana Suit Pub Crawls.

I do hope they take place at the same time. That would be awesome!

(The fact that I haven’t stumbled into either of these scenarios in real life honestly upsets me. What gives Universe?)

Several weeks go by…

Me: Killing time disrupting the Instagram algorithm, stumbles across a black-and-white picture of nuns drinking in the streets. Immediately sends to friends. “After the gorilla suit pub crawl… this.”
FW: “Ummm yes of course!!!”

Couple more weeks go by…

Me: Sees horoscope ice breaker on Co-Star: YOU WON THE AWARD FOR FASTEST MARATHON DRESSED AS A NUN. (Nun humor is always a winner!) 100% this is getting posted.

DM from FW: This is so you!!!
My DM: It’s so on point it’s terrifying. Also, have been in a nun costume and have run a (half) marathon… sadly not at the same time… but now I know where I went wrong.
FW: Right?! I think we really need to push for a nun pub crawl.
Me: I’m 100% in for this. No questions asked. Let’s do it.
FW: Amen 🙂

10 minutes later, driving home from boxing.

Sign/Advertisement on the side of the road: Sounds Weird.

Conversations that involve the words “sounds weird” are my very most favorite. Every. Single. Time. These conversations have landed me in the following:

Glass Blowing class
Lesbian comedy night in a raffle to win free Egg Harvesting (of the human not chicken varietal. I did not win.)
Swan Boats in Devil Horns and combat boots following a consultation with a psychic on Halloween
Bollywood Dancing in the Park while unknowingly crashing someone else’s date
Working out with Richard Simmons
Watching a Woman play a saw at a hipster talent show
Listening to Lisa Loeb cover Wonderwall (which, BTW, THE thing I didn’t know I needed!)
Watching an Arnold Schwarzenegger Tribute Band
Masquerade Bachelorette party
Working a Mattress Convention where your favorite band of all time is performing (so naturally you push the salesmen out of the way for a front-row seat!)

(And that’s just the stuff I can remember right now!)

But I can’t wait to see what’s next! Feel free to submit ideas!

My Calendar is Threatening Me

Why is having an empty day on your calendar — a No Events Scheduled day — such a THREAT? It should be a treat.

Seriously. Think about the last one you had.

I’m willing to bet it wasn’t a vacation day. And it probably wasn’t really planned (at least not in the ‘well, I was trying to keep Thursday open for X so one call won’t kill me’ way. And definitely not in the ‘I have over-scheduled myself for 74 days straight and I’m intentionally scheduling nothing’ only to be bored and begging for attention by 10 am way.)

The Blank Days sneak up on you.

Someone innocently asks, “I got jammed up today. Cool if we push to tomorrow?” And then you look at ‘tomorrow’ and see nothing but blank space. Sometimes it’s so vacant that it’s not even someone you haven’t spoken to since the 3rd grade’s birthday. It’s really empty. Blank. Void. WTF.

First, you think your internet must be jacked and your calendar just hasn’t synched.

Then, you realize you’ve been streaming Love is Blind for 4+ hours (in the background) so the internet isn’t the issue.

Surely, you must have forgotten to add something. So you scan your notes. Check your emails. Texts. Slacks. Teams. Etc.

Nope, not there either.

There are at least five meetings you were trying to schedule… ok, digging through sent emails yes you offered times for ‘tomorrow’ but those didn’t work for people.

Fuck.

Quick scan through the To Do list and you either have a list of long put-off projects you were probably never actually dealing with OR you know you have a quantifiable shit ton of work to do and deadlines looming that would break a lesser person threatening to end your career. In either case, this ‘free day’ should be your saving grace.

But instead, it inspires a panic. It’s a threat. An as real as ghosts threat that tomorrow is going to screw you so disproportionately hard that you may never recover. Because… how could it not?

You go to bed and you don’t sleep because you have no idea what’s coming but you are 100% confident that it is.

You wake up exhausted and terrified and equal parts desperate for espresso and a nap.

And you wait.

Then, because you have literally done nothing but will a shitstorm into existence to fill the nothingness on your calendar, the shitstorm arrives with a thwack upside your head and an IOU to collect.

Screw you empty calendar day… you think, not willing to tempt fate again.

“ I just did,” the emptiness answers. “See you again tomorrow.”

Speed Dating (I effing love it!)

So, yeah, Speed Dating. Sometimes you just need a break from Awards Season!

No one believes me when I say this… but I love speed dating. I am aware it does not otherwise fit my personality so when someone throws out speed dating as an activity, my friends don’t always believe me at first. But I always respond with, “In.”

And that’s exactly how we ended up Zoom speed dating last week. I’d been talking with my friend, we shall call her the Queen, about doing it since the prehistoric days (aka Pre-2020). And finally scheduled and life worked in our favor (I had to brief her on a work project and we were probably gonna spend at least 45 min catching up anyways… so why not go on six mini-dates?). We signed up day-of. And, yes, virtual speed dating is just as ridiculous and entertaining as in-person (and the cocktails are cheaper!)

Q was honestly not prepared for the sheer amount of joy she would witness and experience while simultaneously speed dating in my living room. This fact was proven when midway through she stopped talking to her dates to take photos and videos of me chatting away.

What’s not to like:

5-minute conversations mean you aren’t just able to be judgy… it’s expected. You can’t possibly make an educated decision in that amount of time… so judge and be judged. (Dude rolling around in your unmade bed, in the din of a black light, while aggressively petting your uber-white cat––while I very much wish to use you in a book someday, I don’t think we are a match. Next!)

It’s like an hour all in… and you only need one outfit!!! (Let’s be honest, it was over the Zooms, it only required a decent shirt and some lipstick. #lipstickisthenewpants)

Also, people are weird and that totally comes through in 5 minutes (especially virtually on day 3,458 of quarantine). Weird people are the best because they are themselves. Crystals, crypto, the mandolin, moving to outer space –– nothing is off-limits. While I encourage you to be yourself, sometimes you need to put on your detective hat and get to the bottom of that Minotaur-Suit of Armor displayed in the background.

Finally, let’s also be clear you may meet the love of your life or your new concert buddy or a new friend (and you never know who they know––maybe they’re the quirky best friend in your future-mate’s story) or you may just have a ridiculously entertaining evening and meet some new people. I’m not the least bit embarrassed to admit I’ve never matched with anyone at sped dating (I’ve also never been super sad about it. And relieved to not match at least twice!) But I’ve never had a bad time and I always walk away with a great story!

Super Bowl vs. Valentine’s Day

Hearts vs. Balls. That’s the real face-off this weekend. A true battle royale. And I’m not okay with it!

Is anyone else struggling to understand what scheduling genius thought putting the Super Bowl the day before Valentine’s Day was cool?

No, just me. Sweet. Buckle up. This might take a minute.

The minute my Patriots were out of the running this year, I sent the following text:

While it’s almost a given that I’ll make and bring snacks to any gathering, there are some circumstances when I must put my spatula down and focus on the game.

Namely: Super Bowl Sundays when the Patriots are playing.

No Patriots = All the snacks.

To date, none of my friends have complained. I’m still getting invited to Super Bowl Parties. Though I suspect that may equally have to do with the fact that I’m fairly good-natured when suffering through Patriot-Hater rants. (I get it, it sucks when the same team always wins (ahem, 90s-era Yankees. Ugh!) But when that team is yours, it’s flipping awesome. So, I’ll endure your rants while still feeling supreme.)

In summary, I’m IN on the Super Bowl. The whole Super Bowl game and all. And, hello this Bring Back the 90s Concert that’s happening at halftime!

Valentine’s Day = Mixed reviews. I try not to let the greeting card companies dictate when I tell people how I feel about them, but if you like a little bonus love day––You Do You, Boo!

Galentine’s Day, however, that I’m into. An excuse to brunch and #breadhard with my peeps––Hell, yes! And it requires a full day.

Super Bowl Sunday and Galentine’s Day are the SAME DAY this year.

I’m still working on that time machine and I have some ethical concerns about cloning (mostly, there is such a thing as too much Tarrah).

In other words, I can’t be in two places at once.

I can’t be popping bubbles with the ladies AND making the perfect Hawaiian Jalapeño Wings that will be ready for game time.

While I know that this year’s scheduling snafu has everything to do with the Winter Olympics and little to do with the NFL giving up on courting female fans, it still sucks.

My brain is confused enough that the Super Bowl wasn’t last weekend and I can’t seem to remember that I need to avoid any bars, restaurants, or activities that are romantic-adjacent for the weekend and on Monday.

Don’t crush my perfect Galentine’s Days dreams!

Let’s all take a lesson from this year and plan better in the future.

(And, yes, fine, here’s the recipe: Hawaiian Jalapeño Chicken Wings!)

I’m confident most of my friends’ kids know exactly how weird their parents are, but Aunt Tarrah is HERE for this!

Bread Hard

I was at a dinner with colleagues the other night in Hollywood and something of a miracle happened we ordered extra bread for the table and everyone ate it.

Especially in LA, everyone has a gluten thing or a carbs thing, or a [insert crazy fad diet] thing. At least it feels that way. But somehow we had assembled a table of 11 people gushing over the bread.

To be clear, this wasn’t just any bread. Chunks, half a loaf size pieces, were delivered for everyone at the table. Not to share, a chunk was delivered for each person. They were hot and fragrant. They were perfectly crusted on the outside and moist and fresh on the inside. And, I don’t know what they did to it, but I swear these magical loaves were dusted with movie theater popcorn kisses on the outside. I’m possibly ruined for all bread forever.

Minutes later every last crumb of bread had disappeared into our bellies.

We hadn’t even begun to process how truly amazing that bread was until one of the team was like, “I’m just gonna go ahead and get some more bread for the table.”

Heck yes, you are!

Let’s do it.

Hands raised (okay, that was just me, because I still function at a 3rd grade level).

None, zero objections.

Bread hard.

I’m in.

What I’m really getting at here is this: we’ve been trapped in our houses, staring at friends and colleagues over Zoom, and working on-site covered by masks and harassed by the Covid police (this is probably an industry-specific thing, but I digress) for two years now. When you finally get to break bread and spend time with friends and colleagues bread hard, man. Bread hard.

Eat the bread, have the glass of wine, and don’t skip on dessert. (Obviously, if you have a legitimate food situation, don’t do anything stupid.) Skip the calorie counting and the carb chatter and just eat, drink, and be grateful to have the chance.

(And, Alyson, who actually yelled “bread hard” at the table, thanks for naming this week’s post! Bread hard, sister!)