Positive Vibes Only — A sexy beast of a motto. Enticing. Seductive. Welcoming.

And totally unrealistic. 

It makes nice wall art, but it’s corrosive to our hearts and souls. IMHO.

It’s entirely unattainable. 

There has been a trend lately in corporate takeovers where the new Powers That Be (PTB), all dew-faced and open, promise Positive Vibes Only (a.k.a Solution Based Thinking; Proactive Creative Processes). 

Sure, it’s a great motivator, for like five minutes. Reality eventually creeps back in, and it morphs into Positivity Theater. There’s nothing on the other side of that door except holey sandbags and a flickering ghost light. 

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to have a Positive Attitude. Absolutely. Keep an open mind and go in emanating Good Vibes. It’s the ONLY I object to.

When you hit a stumbling block, a limitation, or a gut check (natural, man-made, or anxiety-driven), you deserve to feel and acknowledge those moments too. 

All the positivity in the world will never be able to make up for the fact that you are human. That physics and logistics are real. And, that time travel (as of yet) is not.

Until time travel becomes available to the masses, you will have limitations. (And, no, we aren’t going to discuss the myriad problems that time travel for the masses would bring. At least not today.) 

Limitations are not inherently negative. Or positive, for that matter.
They are.
They exist.
Period.

The best way to tackle limitations is to acknowledge them. If you accept their existence, you can solve for them, work with them, and create despite them.

(And, spoiler alert, some limitations can change. Some can’t. But if you never acknowledge them, how will you know?)

No. Can’t. Won’t. Don’t.

No one likes hearing these words. Some people actively hate these words. 100%, including me. (I’m working on it.)

In my experience, the humans who hate them the most fall into one of two categories:

1. They didn’t hear them enough as children; or
2. They heard them too much as children.

In the first case, they need to hear them more now. They need to hear them until they acknowledge them with the same ease of acceptance as they do the latest weight loss craze.

In the second case, they need to be reminded that those are just words and don’t imply negativity, failure, or insurrection. They don’t determine worth. Most importantly, they don’t mean an awesome outcome doesn’t exist.

NO:
“No.” Is a complete sentence. It can mean you’re standing up for yourself and setting a positive boundary about what you are willing/able to do. It should always be respected. It can (probably should) always be followed up with what is NEEDED to change the outcome.

CAN’T:
I am positive I can’t drive an SUV through a concrete wall without negative repercussions. Extreme, sure, but 100% accurate. You can’t make more hours in the day. Or burn the candle at both ends without it taking a measurably negative toll on your health and mental state (and probably making your work product trash.) You can’t be in two places at once. Choices are real and need to be made.

WON’T:
Unwillingness is not a sign of insurgence. It’s a positive example of someone making a choice and standing by it. Whether theoretical or moral or a different idea, it’s a positive confirmation that someone has considered options and come to a conclusion. These people are leaders. Why don’t they want to do it? I wonder.

DON’T:
DO NOT should always receive a follow-up. 
“I do not want to do this.” — “Why are you uncomfortable with this request?
“I do not understand.” — “Where are you hung up?”
“I do not feel [insert feeling word] about this.” — “What would make you feel differently?”

If you were reading a book or watching a show, this is the moment heroes and villains are made. It’s the drama.

Why assume that moment works differently in real life? That depiction, almost definitely, positively came from real life. 

Positive vibes are outstanding when they happen. We should cherish them, embrace them, and release them. We shouldn’t hoard them. We shouldn’t demand them.

Real vibes happen — They aren’t all positive. And we should see them, hear them, feel them and release them. 

We will never learn if we pretend that real vibes don’t exist. We will never know how to get over them, dig under them, or take the long way around them if we pretend they aren’t real. But if we do, we learn how to build stairs, carve tunnels, or take steps. Each one of those is a positive victory we can celebrate.

We should be focused on FEELING THE VIBES, then maybe we’ll create some MAGIC from them.